I just had a total “light bulb” moment. Lucy just fell off her chair. I want to completely redo the inside of my house. I have been so caught up in waiting to do the big projects on this house that I am completely ignoring the little things. I could paint rooms, sand floors, paint crazy things on walls, all the things I’ve been waiting to do – but what on earth am I waiting for??? We’ve lived in this house nearly four years, and I’ve really almost done nothing. I can make my kitchen look better a little at a time, without waiting for the “big” money to get here. I could go to flea markets and garage sales and have so much fun! Why did I not realize that is what it was? Was it a God moment? I don’t know?! But I’ve got something new to be excited about! Yay!
Wherever you are…there you are – wait, that’s not right
I find myself firmy planted in NW Arkansas, Republicanland, the “Bible Belt”- chock full of hypocritters, trailer parks, and chicken houses. I’ve lived in this area for 8 years in September, and I still don’t understand why I’m here. I know how I got here (big yellow Ryder truck), but I don’t exactly know why I’ve stayed. I unfortunately cannot say that I “love” it here. When I moved here in 2000, my dear husband told me “you just try it for a while, just let it grow on you”. When, one year later, I said “you know, I tried it, let’s go to California and you try it for a year”, I was promptly turned down. I felt a little betrayed, actually, as I realized he had NO intention of ever moving from here. So I’ve tried to make the best of it. I’ve learned to call the hogs. I’ve learned that you root for your high school football team for many many years after you’ve graduated and moved on. I’ve learned that you sit at a stop sign until you are positively sure no one else would like to go first.
So here I am. Forever. Wow. My husband plans on working at his job until he turns 55 or dies. Whichever comes first. So here I am. (oh i said that already) I guess I should make the best of it, right? Nothing will come of me sitting and complaining about it. Find the good things about it, make lemonade, yadda yadda. Unless I win the Powerball, then I’m outta here – my husband can fly the private jet to one of my homes for a visit.
I enjoy taking hikes, looking at old buildings, wishing someone would come in and return them to their former glory. I like to shop, I like museums and art, I love talking with girlfriends and laughing. I can get all of that here. (not enough of the latter, however). Is it just the gypsy in me that is dying to pack up and go? As I recently told a friend, this home is my 30th. home. that i’ve lived in since birth. yes, that was a 30. I lived in 6 houses before I started kindergarten – what were my parents thinking? don’t get me started…
I’m feeling restless, that’s what it is. I need a new challenge. I’m already completely overwhelmed, what with the job and husband and kids and church and house. I can’t handle those tasks well, so I guess another challenge wouldn’t be a great idea. The past 5 years have been ALL about the kids, I think I’m ready for some ME time. my DREAM would be to go on vacation BY MYSELF. I’m sure I would get in all kinds of trouble, but I don’t care. I can’t even imagine not having to help anyone, compromise, discipline, it would be great!
She’s back – look out
oh my goodness, it’s true! I haven’t blogged since May 07???? That is just insane! Surely no one will even know I’ve returned – so I can say whatever I want????? I love that! Many times I have refrained from writing some things I’ve really wanted to talk about for fear of alienating and/or completely freaking out my friends. This is so liberating - shall we talk about abortion, or misbehaved children, the wet/dry issue, John McCain, illegal immigrants – the possibilities are endless!!! I’m so excited…..
Okay back to the real world people – haha – Sadly, I use this forum to vent, and I think the older I get, the more I want to complain – Donald Miller puts it best when he says that if we keep trying to make this place “God’s perfect world” we are going to be sorely dissapointed. So maybe complaining and trying to change things isn’t worth it?
But what the hell else are we supposed to do? Just sit around and wait for death? I don’t think so….so here we go- I’m turning 40 this year, and I’m years past winning the popularity competition, so read and laugh along with me, or don’t read. It’s sort of a free country, unless you read the Patriot Act…(oh no, i feel it coming on again…)
