jumbled thoughts OR the girl who did too much

Lately, I’ve been seriously trying to figure out what I REALLY want to be when I grow up.  That was grammatically incorrect, but its late and you get the point.  After 17 years of doing something I never intended to do for 17 years, I would like to restart college and actually FINISH this time!  My work history is as follows:  Age 12-14:  Newspaper delivery (which was stinky because it was back in the day when I also had to go around collecting money too!)  And that whole “up at 5am” thing was no fun.  okay stop elaborating and move on Age 15-17 McDonalds.  I had a  BLAST there because all my friends worked there too and it was just non-stop laughing and craziness.  Age 18-22: Telemarketer, Receptionist, Secretary, Payroll Clerk, Retail, Housecleaner – all while going to school to be an EMT.  Time on the job as an EMT after going to all that training?  3 days.  Day 1 – Vietnamese lady who reached under her lawn mower to pull out a branch and cut all her fingers off DURING A PARADE.  (okay, driving an ambulance through a parade ROCKED, i’m sorry)  I think we can all learn a lesson here – never mow your lawn while a parade is scheduled to pass by YOUR house…..wait we’re off track again – oh yeah – Day 2- did nothing but watch cartoons while 6 people slept in recliners for 12 hours – OH but i forgot to say, my job at the aforementioned lawn mower incident was to find and pick up the finger pieces and put them in a baggie of ice.  *doh*  Day 3 – motorcycle vs car – on a hillside – cyclist pinned under the car, i had to lay on the hillside, next to him, and wait for the helicopter to come. had a nice long talk with him, wife was pregnant, he was worried, i reassured him all would be okay. Lifted the car up and he bled out. died right there.   Called my mom and she picked me up from the scene while i threw my gloves and uniform at my supervisor. 

So then a friend told me about her mom’s work, where they needed a receptionist at a Farmers Insurance office in Orangevale, California.  It was $10 an hour and full benefits, which wasn’t that great.  (sorry guys, it was california and 1991) but I took it, and ended up working there for 6 years and tripling my salary, plus big bonuses.    Then I got divorced and moved to Vegas and got a job offer at the MGM Grand, working at their Insurance Dept in the Workers Comp Division, but I didn’t take it – I tookanother Farmers Insurance job, and blah blah blah that’s what I’ve always done, everywhere I’ve moved to I had a great job lined up before I got there.   And now I’m just sick of it.  I know I have so much more potential, but for what?

 I wonder if they still have those tests you can take – like we all took in junior high – that tell you what you’re suited for, professionally.  Please, if you know me (or just WISH you did) please feel free to tell me what YOU think I’d be good at.  besides modeling and rock star.  i mean ENOUGH already people. 

 

finally

“A type of fat that accumulates around the hips and bottom may actually offer some protection against diabetes, U.S. researchers said on Tuesday. “

do i need to say anything at all?

 

storm

 

what a hellish day!  had no idea it was going to do anything beyond rain – waking up at 4am to raging storm sirens is no fun!  i thought it was a nightmare – i threw clothes on, grabbed my kids, and headed to the downstairs bathroom.  we just sat in there and they kept saying “what are we doing?” i said “the storm sirens are going off girls!!” – then gracie said “oh – at least its not the TORNADO sirens, mom”.  I thought – tell her?  or shut up?  isn’t it so so great to be a naive child?  the sounds outside were like nothing i’ve ever heard – poor katie just stayed laying facedown on my legs and never moved or spoke.  gracie and i just prayed and prayed and shook – please Lord, let it pass us, please Lord, don’t let it hurt anyone, over and over…..i prayed for my friend Trish next door, who I knew was probably scared…I prayed for my friends across town, that they would all hear the sirens and take cover and be safe…and this un-explainable desire to keep my girls safe was overwhelming me – i would have thrown my body over them to save them from debris falling on them and hurting them.  I kept thinking it was raining hard, but it was the tornado going RIGHT over us, and touching down just 4 houses from mine.  Huge explosions and then no power, which made us feel so helpless – no way to listen to news reports about where the tornado was.  Then the WORST part of all……

Complete silence.    constant lightning striking, and no thunder, no wind, no rain, no birds chirping, nothing.  I just thought ” okay, this is it” – i was certain we were in the silent eye of the storm, where you hear nothing, then you feel air sucking, then you hear your house blowing apart.  All I could think was “oh mom and dad, i’m so sorry”.  Jim went outside (against my wishes, of course – hey i saw Twister).  He looked around outside for a bit, made sure Trish’s house was there, made sure Meghan and Devin were there, and then came back in – a friend texted him from bentonville, telling him the news said it had cleared Siloam Springs and was spotted in Tontitown.  So then he told us to get out of the bathtub and go to bed???  what is it with men and sleeping after catastrophe???  I sent everyone out, closed the door,  and threw up for an hour….

I have lots of things to say about this – stay tuned….i’m going to go snuggle my kids, watch Darby O’Gill and the Little People, eat popcorn, and THANK GOD.